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I fear I'm loosing my California Cool ©

I am frozen. Breathing the air gives you a brain freeze headache... no I am not eating my ice cream too fast, I am walking from the grocery store to the car and breathing air... just air, the kind in the sky all around you everyday, But to day it is frozen air and it gave my head a brain freeze, that's just crazy.
Everything is frozen, the garden is frozen, the dogs water dish on the patio froze and cracked in 1/2, the canes on my climbing roses snap off in the wind because they are so brittle from the cold.
We've tried to weather proof this old house and that's not easy, the front door sticks and is very hard to open or close, yet it's drafty all the way around - go figure. Matt put duct tape all around the door frame (we never use the front door anyway) for the past 2 days the duct tape as had a layer of ice on it... ice I tell you... inside my house.
It looks like I need to defrost my freezer - but it's the front door.

With all this cold I have to say it, Damn I miss California!
I fucking miss the entire West Coast, I miss the stupid drivers who don't know how to operate a vehicle in the rain, I miss they way they talk, the way they dress and I miss their egocentric logic.
Dude, I miss they way they use the word "dude" to refer to everything... men, women, emotions and questions .
I miss being able to have an orange tree in my back garden, You can not grow an orange here, no lemons and no limes, zero zip on the citrus.
I miss fruits and vegetables that don't have to travel across country and then display their wilty assed greenness in my produce section at the Giant Eagle grocery store. At twice the price, twice I tell you, for wilty lettuce, dry carrots and soft onions.

I fear if I say in Ohio much longer it will suck every last ounce of California Cool there may be left in me. I'm 55 I don't have much cool to spare, seriously a lot got used up when I was 19. Then there was a decade when I was 40 and I was extraordinarily cool. There is not much reserved for a time such as this
I'm probably at least one season behind when it comes to bohemian style...
Save me or soon there will be nothing left of me but a huge mound of L.L. Bean sweaters and smart wool socks.
© Dove

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